Waffle
Waffle is a tool intended to help writers struggling to increase their word count.
The algorithm is simple; given a text file, waffle queries each word in an online thesaurus and replaces it with its longest synonym while preserving capitalization and punctuation.
Or as waffle would say:
The algorithmic program letter of the alphabet herbaceous plant; acknowledged letter of the alphabet textual matter office furniture, hesitate queries from each one computer memory unit atomic number 49 Associate in Nursing online synonym finder and supervene upon information technology with information technology longest equivalent word.
Many writers are paid by the word and struggle to squeeze cash out of their quills. Think how rich Shakespeare could have been if he had access to a program like Waffle. Consider Hamlet’s famous soliloquy:
Hamlet’s soliloquy (original):
To be or not to be- that is the question:
Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles
And, by opposing, end them. To die, to sleep
No more – and by a sleep to say we end
The heartache and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to – ’tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep
To sleep, perchance to dream. Ay, there’s the rub,
For in that sleep of death what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There’s the respect
That makes calamity of so long life.
For who would bear the whips and scorns of time,
Th’ oppressor’s wrong, the proud man’s contumely,
The pangs of despised love, the law’s delay,
The insolence of office, and the spurns
That patient merit of th’ unworthy takes,
When he himself might his quietus make
With a bare bodkin? Who would fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered country from whose bourn
No traveler returns, puzzles the will
And makes us rather bear those ills we have
Than fly to others that we know not of?
Thus conscience does make cowards of us all,
And thus the native hue of resolution
Is sicklied o’er with the pale cast of thought,
And enterprises of great pitch and moment
With this regard their currents turn awry,
And lose the name of action.- Soft you now!
The fair Ophelia! Nymph, in thy orisons
Be all my sins remembered
It’s length (i.e. value) can be increased by processing it with Waffle:
Hamlet’s soliloquy (improved):
To atomic number 4 operating theater non to atomic number 4- that letter of the alphabet the proposal of marriage:
Whether ’tis nobler atomic number 49 the bear in mind to go through
The triangular bandage and projectile of unconscionable hoarded wealth,
Operating theater to have a go at it implements of war against letter of the alphabet large indefinite quantity of inconvenience oneself
And, aside opponent, piece of material them. To cash in one’s chips, to period of time
Atomic number 102 to a greater extent – and aside letter of the alphabet period of time to give tongue to we piece of material
The brokenheartedness and the large integer musical notation blow out of the water
That get rid of letter of the alphabet inheritor to – ’tis letter of the alphabet mop up
Piously to atomic number 4 give tongue to. To cash in one’s chips, to period of time
To period of time, by chance to ne plus ultra. Ay, there’s the physical contact,
For atomic number 49 that period of time of putting to death what ne plus ultra Gregorian calendar month liquid body substance,
When we have a go at it shuffled polish off this causal agency birth control device,
Grape juice bring down United States of America time interval. There’s the mental attitude
That create from raw material bad luck of solfa syllable sesquipedalian period of time.
For World Health Organization would have a bun in the oven the thrash about and freeze off of period of time,
Th’ oppressor’s wrongful conduct, the too big for one’s breeches man’s vilification,
The feeling of detested have a go at it, the law’s hold back,
The offensive activity of place of business, and the freeze off
That participant role meritoriousness of atomic number 90′ undeserving of have a go at it,
When letter of the alphabet himself mightiness American state eternal sleep create from raw material
With letter of the alphabet au naturel hand tool? World health organization would encumbrance have a bun in the oven,
To unskilled person and elbow grease subordinate letter of the alphabet wear upon period of time,
Merely that the apprehensiveness of thing later on putting to death,
The unexplored administrative district from whose boundary
Atomic number 102 individual change by reversal, puzzle over the make up one’s mind
And create from raw material United States of America kind of have a bun in the oven those under the weather we have a go at it
Than head for the hills to some other that we have a go at it non of?
Gum olibanum sense of right and wrong Department of Energy create from raw material Sir Noel Pierce Coward of United States of America every last,
And gum olibanum the autochthonous color property of firmness of purpose
Letter of the alphabet sicklied over with the light-colored cast of characters of higher cognitive process,
And enterprisingness of with child promotional material and point in time
With this paying attention their electrical phenomenon change of direction malfunctioning,
And turn a loss the have in mind of action at law.- Pianissimo assai you in real time!
The bring together Ophelia! Graeco-roman deity, atomic number 49 thy petition
Atomic number 4 every last my letter of the alphabet think back
Download
Waffle can be found on GitHub here:
https://github.com/flembobs/Waffle/tree/master/waffle
The command line syntax:
waffle.py (input_filepath) (output_filepath)
Requirements:
The program uses the Big Huge Thesaurus API to query its words. An API key has been included in the source code to access this. The key is only valid for 10,000 words per day and I cannot guarentee that it will work forever.
